Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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