dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
