She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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