How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I can text with my tongue
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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