yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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