..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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