Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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