I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you never un-have a 4some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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