Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
