you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Houston, we have a squirter
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
