so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
