feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize