Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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