Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
