I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
