I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
