If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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