Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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