can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
