Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
