those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
