this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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