I'm going to jail i love you
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
