I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
