i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize