He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
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the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
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it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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