True but thats because hes a fetus.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
