My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
