Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she told me i tasted like america
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
