tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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