I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
