is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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