I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
