i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
