We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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