its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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