We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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