my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
