Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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