I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Small penises have feelings too.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize