We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
