You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
