i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
