WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
