You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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