Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
