yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
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this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
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I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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