Can i not drive my cunt home
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
