ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
