She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
