Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
we're so committed to being not committed
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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