OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
