I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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