i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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