let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
