You can't motorboat a personality
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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