This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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