if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i've created a new STD.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize